Hi, people hope you are doing pretty well, so AM I. Well, lately I discovered this is one common issue with almost every girl in this world, and that is with the mother-in-laws. The stories that knocks after “We can’t live together.” This has been heard some gazillion times, and yes, we are talking about real life unlike those heavily dressed, bejeweled Bahus from soap operas. In every Indian household this comes as one major concern. My conscious allows me to share some good secrets with you all wherein I was, and sometimes I still am in the same shoes. However, we will make it short and simple by not exaggerating the entire story and yes, it is solely my views and prospect and how I look to it. So, bear with me.
Let’s get started.
I have been married for past 3.5 years and yes, when a 22 year old fresh brain makes this pounding move, it matters. A girl faces a whole lot when she is bagging up to move with a guy and frame a new life altogether. Yes, this is how it is, you get married, you have to accept the new world, leaving behind the old gigs, and make good connections and are winsome on everything that gets served to your plate. Man, oh man, this is not scary, it is simply backing you up for the good things you share after marriage. Yes, this is how it all starts, but as the time rolls, the real picture comes into play.
Yes, you got me— it is all about ADJUSTMENTS.
Well, today everyone is living on their own, the culture of joint families is slightly getting demolished and everyone takes their lives the way they want. This is pretty much the picture we all see, but again there are times when you have to be living together. Not all families are nuclear, there are many families who we live in happily with the concept of joint family on their head. After all, these are the ones taking the “living together makes bond stronger” concept forward. Coming to the story, we all here are talking about this “mother-in law chemistry”.
She is one soul who spends most of her life in making an empire. Yes, empire we all live in. From all the hard work and love, she has nurtured it beautifully and spent immensely to make it the way it is. Some stranger (daughter-in-law) when tries to reincarnate it, or for that matter tries to make any changes into it, is “STRICTLY IMPERMISSIBLE”. Yeah, it boils her blood and she may teach you the right lesson on that. But, for a girl it is a whole lot of difference. A girl who is ambitious and keen minded for her career; suddenly need to face such issues. These small issues turn diabolic with time, and that is how the pressure of moving out comes into play. The girl has been blamed zillion times, with the tag of family splitter, but yes, she could be just trying to find her own space of breathing.
We all have the sheer right to be happy and be whatever we like to be. This is what had been taught to us when we were growing up, but after marriage all these pointers takes no place in life. From being incandescent some girls turn into a withered face. Yes, that could be the pressure of living in together or that time to time stress offered by life.
But yes, here we will be talking about the remedies to live happily; no matter you are living away or together with your mother-in-law. First, you need to be happy, to make others happy and then take life forward with neat goals.
Find this space girls, it is going to be platinum worthy for your life, no matter you are living together or away from in-laws.
1. Greet/talk to your in-laws at least once a week if you are living away or for once in a day if you are living together. Yes, greeting or talking to them on the phone or face to face is a good source to let them be happy about your presence in their lives. The expectations of a mother-in-law turn higher with a daughter-in-law and yes, this is the way she is analyzing your SANSKAARS. So, make it on a happy note and greet with positivity.
2. Who doesn’t love gifts and mother-in-laws simply adore them if it is from their daughter-in-law. Arranged or love marriage, mother-in-laws will be more than happy to get it from you. Surprise her with a gift when you visit her or courier them across. Why not, buy something from the online store and let her open with some joyous vibes?
3. Share a story of your day or week with them. It makes them connected.
4. No matter, she could be hot-headed at times and may yell at you, you need to tranquilize the situation. If you burst out as well, things may go in some other direction.
5. At times you may not get her things and lose your calm. It’s ok, we all are humans and the best remedy for that is “TALK”. Things may not be understood by your actions, but trust me talking is the real healing. Try sharing your thoughts as there is a big generation gap and let them understand it. Also, it is your bad when you are digesting the things and not taking any action when it is wrong. Speak out with due respect, and be happy about it.
6. Thoughts are different and vague at times, she might want something else and you want to do something else. In such cases, use your senses and play the game. There is no bad in letting her go first, of course she is older, respectful and your mother. Make it one.
7. Your mother-in-law cannot take your mother’s place. This is how it is? Accept it the sooner you can, and more you will be in the benefit. Believe in giving up with no expectations to be happier in life.
8. Do not follow your friend’s advice. Yes, mother-in-law issues are quite critically put forward and most of the suggestions are destructive. Use your belief and senses to sort out any difficult situation.
I guess this is something fairly going to help you in any tiff or for no tiffs at all. Act as a surrenderer in these petty spats and trust me, you will be more than happy. I myself face it, and try making her understand my points and when she doesn’t, it is better to put down your weapons and crown her with the glory she deserve.
Be happy, be nice and most importantly—TALK.